Hom nay doc dc bai nay tren redeye ( khoanh khac hiem hoi :D ), co be nay viet chang hay lam, nhung co may ideas kha duoc. Chia se voi ba con tren nay goi la co cai blog cuoi tuan :D
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Trade in your heavy baggage for a lighter trick bag
I have a confession to make—I'm a chronic overpacker.
While packing for a recent trip, I was trying to be mindful of the latest airport security restrictions on the contents of carry-on bags. After toiling over important decisions—like whether or not I should risk having my favorite lip gloss confiscated—I opted to pack as light as possible, carrying only the bare necessities.
It was a good plan. My bag was light, and I effortlessly breezed through security.
If only I could apply the same concept to relationships.
Everyone has a degree of emotional baggage, but some of us are inefficient over-packers who fill our emotional footlockers with things that will never help us, and insist on lugging around feelings and experiences that we can't—or refuse to—get over.
For example, we've all heard (or spoken) the following phrases:
>> "I just can't get over ..."
>> "I keep thinking about what she did to me ..."
>> "If I could just get closure on ..."
>> "I will never forget the pain of ..."
>> "I wish I knew why he ..."
>> "Every time I think about _____, it makes me angry."
These and other harmful phrases are the true symptoms of baggage. They are thoughts that only weigh us down, and keep us from moving toward happy, healthy relationships.
I'm not suggesting that we erase the past, but at some point, our baggage should transcend from a collection of painful memories to a handy bag of tricks or tools that help to successfully navigate future relationships.
You wouldn't pack an evening gown for a rap concert, so keep in mind that—just like the contents of our overnight bags—each memory stored in the emotional baggage reservoir should be useful and appropriate.
The first step is to take an honest look at your experiences, and accurately determine what went wrong and how you might have contributed to the problems. Next, figure out what you learned and how you can change your behavior in the future.
For example, if you dated a man for a year before realizing he was married, don't feel sorry for yourself and wallow in the deception. Think of the warning signs you might have overlooked, document them, and file them in your trick bag (formerly known as baggage).
If your ex left you for someone else, don't spend several months/years/decades trying to figure out what went wrong. You'll never know for sure. Capture everything you liked about that relationship, pack those attributes in your trick bag, and go on a mission to find something even better.
Taken advantage of by a gold-digger? Don't let your baggage turn you into an evil penny-pincher. Equip your trick bag with an internal siren that hides your debit card when it detects a money-grubber.
I used to be the girl who packed eight outfits for one weekend. But now I enjoy packing light. I've retired my worn suitcase with its busted seams and jagged wheels that have crumbled under the weight of my unnecessary items. In its place, I carry a sleak leather bag that's big enough for the essentials, but not so big that it slows me down.
If I ever get a larger bag, it will only be because I have more experience—and more tricks!
While packing for a recent trip, I was trying to be mindful of the latest airport security restrictions on the contents of carry-on bags. After toiling over important decisions—like whether or not I should risk having my favorite lip gloss confiscated—I opted to pack as light as possible, carrying only the bare necessities.
It was a good plan. My bag was light, and I effortlessly breezed through security.
If only I could apply the same concept to relationships.
Everyone has a degree of emotional baggage, but some of us are inefficient over-packers who fill our emotional footlockers with things that will never help us, and insist on lugging around feelings and experiences that we can't—or refuse to—get over.
For example, we've all heard (or spoken) the following phrases:
>> "I just can't get over ..."
>> "I keep thinking about what she did to me ..."
>> "If I could just get closure on ..."
>> "I will never forget the pain of ..."
>> "I wish I knew why he ..."
>> "Every time I think about _____, it makes me angry."
These and other harmful phrases are the true symptoms of baggage. They are thoughts that only weigh us down, and keep us from moving toward happy, healthy relationships.
I'm not suggesting that we erase the past, but at some point, our baggage should transcend from a collection of painful memories to a handy bag of tricks or tools that help to successfully navigate future relationships.
You wouldn't pack an evening gown for a rap concert, so keep in mind that—just like the contents of our overnight bags—each memory stored in the emotional baggage reservoir should be useful and appropriate.
The first step is to take an honest look at your experiences, and accurately determine what went wrong and how you might have contributed to the problems. Next, figure out what you learned and how you can change your behavior in the future.
For example, if you dated a man for a year before realizing he was married, don't feel sorry for yourself and wallow in the deception. Think of the warning signs you might have overlooked, document them, and file them in your trick bag (formerly known as baggage).
If your ex left you for someone else, don't spend several months/years/decades trying to figure out what went wrong. You'll never know for sure. Capture everything you liked about that relationship, pack those attributes in your trick bag, and go on a mission to find something even better.
Taken advantage of by a gold-digger? Don't let your baggage turn you into an evil penny-pincher. Equip your trick bag with an internal siren that hides your debit card when it detects a money-grubber.
I used to be the girl who packed eight outfits for one weekend. But now I enjoy packing light. I've retired my worn suitcase with its busted seams and jagged wheels that have crumbled under the weight of my unnecessary items. In its place, I carry a sleak leather bag that's big enough for the essentials, but not so big that it slows me down.
If I ever get a larger bag, it will only be because I have more experience—and more tricks!
